The Eye

The little boy that cried wolf..

(no subject)
The Eye

Found at a thrift-store for 6 dollars

My new goggles.
Brightly coloured so i dont leave them in the changing room again

operation stay awake..
The Eye
Lets see, ive been up for about 24 hours already.. give or take the 3 hours of eye-resting that i consumed way back 9 pm yesterday.Its funny that it would take a lack of sleep to help you think better.. in a way.Its like a quickfix except that there arent any synthetics involved.When willpower takes over unconscious thought.The mind is forced to work beyond the capabilities and outside the circumstances that it is normally used to.Its like a rush.A step up the ladder.I used to do it quite often actually.. to reset all my clocks, not just the ones that are biological.They are interdependent i think.But like all quickfixes, less is better than more.One just has to remain focused.Minutes stretch into hours and the hours stretch into eternity as one is lost in a slow moving whirlwind of thoughts.There is no specific train or line..
its just one swirling mass that goes round and round and you pick out what you want.It might be unstable but then thats just up to you to decide aswell.I have this liberty of time, i have no commitments to duty at the moment.I know i cant keep it up for long though.I got to make it count.People are only given so many chances.I cant keep moving round and round in a circle that seems to be shrinking and shrinking.Need to go off tangent.Go somewhere further out.. spiral..
I think ive been smoking too much too..
Finding it hard to breathe.. and the lack of oxygen is making me even more sleepy.

Just a few more hours.. ive got a long night tmr.. i need to be rested.

sunday in the park..
The Eye
It was pretty quiet today ...

A bridge.

Path amongst trees ..

A lone tai chi master ..

Breakfast.Collapse )

My dad bumped into a friend yesterday who runs a bakery.Now my fridge is overflowing with croissants, danish, muffins and other unindentifiable pastries.

Morning madness..
The Eye
I know that this is a very personal matter and that i probably shouldnt be posting it up but i feel the need to speak my mind, even if i speak it somewhat abstractedly with intent.
When a group consciousness try as they might to get along, they work togather to achieve some sort of progressive harmony.There is no choice if a band of dissimilar people are thrown togather to survive in a harsh world.Sometimes, very often actually, they exist within a very unstable web of communication that is liable to break down at anytime.It requires constant effort to maintain, at least in the beginning.
Just a stone thrown into the pond will cause ripples and upset even the most peaceful of sleeping lillies.If one person chooses not to cooperate, and infact go so far as to willingly cause disharmony (though the cause of this may seem unintentional but i will come to this later), the entire balance of things will be upsetted and unimaginable and irrevocable chaos is likely to ensue.
People act and will react, that is natural.And when someone is acting unreasonably.. maybe the best thing to do is to hold yourself back and not add fuel to the flame.This requires more than a bit of foresight grasp and practice.But even then, everyone has a breaking point.
My questions to you are these:
Is it fair to expel, sugjugate or subdue this person with forcible intent and actions, how ever drastic it maybe?
To put it simple, is it fair to teach this person a lesson ?
Is one to take into account the past deeds, past behavior and current overall mindstate of the subject in matter?

It is not wise to judge, but to act in this matter one becomes forced to.And if one has to judge, the judgements will not be kind and the following actions will not be gentle.I am not as wise as i would like to be nor am i as patient as i hope one day to become.But i am slowly learning.My hope is that the people around me will watch me as i watch them and maybe we can learn from each other as the days go by.

Via astralbeats
The Eye
Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||| 50%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Liveliness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Dutifulness ||||||||| 30%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Artistic Interests ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Paranoia ||||||||||||||| 46%
Abstractness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Introversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Anxiety ||||||||||||||| 50%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Independence ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 50%
Tension ||||||||||||||| 42%
Take Free 16pf based Personality Test

off the beaten path..
The Eye
Today on the way to the pool, i walked through a park...
Its strange that for the past year or so i always skirted around this park.Read more...Collapse )

alcohol is a depressant..
The Eye
So ive had a few drinks.
Im allowed today, i got a get out of jail free card from one of my unrealised guardians.
There is this feeling, this thing, gnawing from the depths within me.Sure, you can push it aside and distract yourself with other thoughts but its still there.If you deny its existence to begin with, it comes back and haunts you two-fold later.I cant escape it.I might as well accept it.Its not easy though.It seems to me that ive been oscillating between pretending that im perfectly fine and hoping that the worst is over.Its still there though, lurking behind the optimism and foolish hopes.
I know it is there because it rose to the surface again today.
There.. mingling amongst the distractions of the present moments.I cannot escape it.But i know it can be handled.
This is my problem:
I know where i will go and how i will get there eventually but its the present moment that afflicts me with such pain that its halting my progression significantly.I know it sounds like an idiosyncracy.A paradox.But dilemmas arent that simple.
I need some redemption.

of trains and strangers ..
The Eye

on the train on the way back...

It occured to me as i as sitting down thinking to myself, that it has been a long time since i took the train.I think i will make it more of a habit.It gives one time to think.But perhaps that is why ive deterred from taking it in the first place.Its easier to get from one place to another with less things going on in ur head.In theory, the less things that are allowed to happen, the less things that have a chance to go wrong.But its not all bad.When you cut out certain habits, certain train of thoughts (pardon the expression), you are also cutting off all the other positive possibilities and probablities that may arise along those lines.When one is not allowed to think, one may start to feels suppressed, repressed even depressed.. Very viscious cycle it is and more dangerous because one may not necessarily know that one has been sucked in.

i know what some might say :
its just a fucking train ride!
But i dont care.
This is my journal and i will say what i want.

cos its already time to get up ...
The Eye

Sunrise from my bedroom window.

I took this a couple of days ago when i found myself in the same predicament of going to bed when the world is rising.That plateau that you see towards the right off-center is a mountain of granite thats been excavated to house an underground amroury that is supposed to span over 20 football fields.Im not sure of the actual size of the storage facility but that pile just keeps getting higher and higher.
The slates of roofing that are barely visible belong to the primary school that is across the road.Its a one session school and the noise should be starting in a bout 20 minutes.

(no subject)
The Eye
I think i am in dire need of a psychedelic experience.


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